I have gotten so much great information from all of the other lesbian TTC blogs that I read. We haven't been on the baby making train all that long, but I am so comforted by the fact that that there is such a supportive community out there. So.....today I have a question for everyone. What are you doing about your last names? If you've got a second to share, I would LOVE to hear what you are doing and why and how you made the decision that you did.
I'm thinking about this because we are initiating the name change process now. Although we got married last year, we didn't make the change then. We decided that we would change it, but for reasons related primarily to career timing, we decided to wait until we got closer to baby time. If we had not made the decision to have a baby, I'm not sure what we would do about names.
We've decided that the whole family (me, her and however many kids we have) will have my last name as a middle name and her last name as a last name. We're not going the hyphenation route bc it just seems like a mouthful and with this arrangement we get what we all want - a family name that we all share and my name in there somewhere. It works for us and I'm excited about it. AND..... it means that we only have to agree on a first name for the baby.
So, the question is - What are you doing?
Parenting Right Now
2 years ago
4 comments:
I changed my last name to my wife's this winter. I was never attached to my last name (it's my bio father's, whom I haven't spoken to in almost a decade). I somehow missed the spot on our marriage application to change it then, but I'm not sure MN would have recognized it anyway since they don't recognize our marriage. Our reasoning is that we don't ever want to give someone reason to question if we are a family, if one of us is or isn't our child's parent. I guess that's also why we chose a donor that closely resembles my wife. To incorporate a bit of name history from my side, we will use my dad's (my stepdad but he's truly been my dad since I was 6) middle name (my grandmother's maiden name) as a middle name for our first child.
I do love the same middle and last name idea though. If only I had liked my former last name...
As you might remember, you are doing exactly what we are doing, so, of course, your plan is brilliant :) Happy court-ordering. When you tell people that your name changed due to court order (and not a marriage) they will think to themselves that you are in the witness protection program and you'll feel dangerous. at least i do. its fun.
My wife took my last name. Since she was going to be the one giving birth, she thought it would be nice for all of us to have my last name. It certainly makes things a lot easier. She did this a few months before we started trying, and completed everything during her pregnancy.
We haven't decided yet, but our last (soft) plan was to give my last name to the baby Fern carries and her last name to the baby I carry. We both want to keep our own names. Who knows what we'll really do though.
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