Pick and Choose

I'm enjoying my weekly Sunday morning coffee shop writing session, but I've run out of creative steam.  Back to the challenge.

Day 14 – How do you typically dress? How do you (or would you) like to dress your kid(s)?

With VERY rare exception, I dress the same way every day.  In cool weather I wear boot cut darkish jeans from Express (Stella fit), a long sleeved, v-neck/boat neck/scoop neck t-shirt in a solid color and Dansko clogs.  In warm weather, the t-shirt becomes short sleeved, the jeans become khaki shorts and the clogs become sandals.  My idea of dressing up involves one of a small handful of interesting tops (usually a fun print) and a pair of jeans one shade darker than the everyday wear.  When I'm feeling frisky, there are heels.

Yogi spends most of his time in onesies or rompers although I'm moving (slowly) towards t-shirts and shorts.  He looks so grown up in actual little boy clothes that on some days it's just a little too much for me and back in the romper he goes.  I can't wait for him to have opinions about what he wears.  I secretly hope that he will be be one of those kids who insists on wearing his Superman cape to pre-school.

Day 15 – What was your college experience like? Were you involved in any clubs, groups, etc?

My college experience was one I wouldn't trade.  I went to a women's college and the school was a perfect fit for me.  I majored in Psychology and English and I had many fabulous professors and mentors along the way.  The academic side of life was totally satisfying and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a student in an environment that was both nurturing and challenging.

The social side of college life was dominated by the fact that I was in a relationship from almost the first month of freshman year through graduation.  As I've mentioned previously, our relationship was all-consuming.  The kind of thing that you talk about as a learning experience, but only after many, many years have passed.  My girlfriend was publicly sunny and charismatic, and privately jealous and prone to depression.  The girl whom everyone knew and loved.  Unfortunately this kind of bravado is usually fragile and it certainly was with her.  She isolated me from almost everyone else in my life and by the time I realized it I was too stripped down to care.   So while I learned a lot about myself and what is important to me in relationships, I missed out on much of the friendship that I'm sure I could have had.

I was President of the Psychology club and the Psychology Honor Organization (Psi Chi).  I was the Secretary of my Senior class and my girlfriend was President (yeah - it was like that).  We were also both officers in the campus (at the time) LBA (Lesbian-Bisexual Association) - I think they added a T shortly after we graduated.  And just to carry on with this trajectory of stereotypes, we spent a lot of time with the Rugby team - her playing, me cheering.  I also took care of the kids of various faculty members when I wasn't doing other things.

For someone who spent all four college years in a relationship that was fairly abusive, I managed to have a great time.  If you know Ani's "Gravel", on a good day it was kind of like that.

and maybe you can keep me
from ever being happy
but you're not going to stop me
from having fun

Day 17 – What is your favorite thing about parenthood?  Your least favorite?

My favorite thing about parenthood is Yogi.  I am entirely, all-consumingly smitten with that boy.  My least favorite thing about parenthood is the stuff.  The bottles to be washed, the clothes to be cleaned and folded, the toys underfoot.

Day 18 – How do you feel about astrology? What’s your sign, baby, and do you think it matches your personality?

Astrology entertains me.  I have little (maybe no) faith in its validity, but it's fun.  I love personality theories and I think of astrology as a wacky personality theory with no empirical evidence.

I am an Aquarius who is close to the cusp of Pisces and a hybrid (again pick and choose) is a good characterization of me.

Yogi is a Leo, which if you've read this blog for awhile you know that I was hoping for.  It's a bit early to tell if this suits him, although he does have a good roar.

Day 19 – How do you (and your partner if applicable) feel about PDA?

Neither of us are very comfortable with a lot of PDA.  My definition of a lot of PDA involves kissing and borderline groping.  What we are comfortable with is hand holding and affectionate touching (arm around the waist, etc.) and we do our share of that.  I'm fairly confident in my assessment of a crowd and I don't push the envelope when the situation doesn't feel safe, but it is every rare that it doesn't feel safe to me.

It is my experience that trouble comes in sexualized situations (dance clubs, concerts) when certain kind of (often drunk) men don't realize at first that you are with a woman and when they realize that the woman you are with is not traditionally feminine (read: their definition of hot) and they have competition that seems unfair.  This is the only kind of situation I've been in in which I felt physically unsafe about overt physical affection and physical safety is really all I worry myself with.  I'm ok with making people nervous.  Since Yogi has come along I am pretty much never in these situations.  Maybe someday. ;)

Day 21.   What child(ren)’s names do you like that your partner hates and thus you could never use?

Although we didn't have a girl, my favorite, favorite, favorite girl name is Stella which my wife does not like.  At all.  I imagine if Yogi had been a girl we would have had quite the showdown.  I LOVE the name and plan to go to bat for it again with number #2.  Cross your fingers. ;)

Hopefully more challenge prompts soon.

Posted in: Ten Months