Monday, December 28, 2009

At Least it’s Not Crack

It has been two days since we've had any official word that the Bean is still with us and optimism continues to reign.  We've had a few oh my jesus moments between us, but we've managed to alternate the zen and anxious roles.  It's important that we not both occupy the anxious role at the same time.  That is when things can get ugly.  But, as I've said things haven't really gotten ugly.  In fact, they've gotten very, very clean.  My wife spent the weekend moonlighting out-of-town (thinking we might need to save for another IVF cycle has really kept her booked with work) and I spent the weekend nesting.  Manically nesting.  Again.

The house is not just clean, it is CLEAN.  Closets organized, pantries and cupboards tidied, refrigerator scrubbed down.  You get the picture.  It was a crazy weekend.  Even the baseboards are gleaming.  As I'm doing these things I acknowledge the freakishness of the impulse, but then I remember the truth.  At least it's not crack.  I may be overzealous with the Comet, but Comet is legal and even advisable.  If I'm going to take something too far it might as well be something that has beneficial outcomes.  Right?!

While it would be fabulous to have another beta right this second and see that number rise and rise, we've got to wait.  No more information until Thursday.  It's almost like a chant.  A nice, soothing chant.  We can do this.  I can do this.  Patience is a virtue and cleanliness is next to godliness.

Yeah.  Right.

4 comments:

You know, Ive always liked, but never asked about, your title. Where'd it come from? This seems like the perfect time to ask:)

Glad you asked! ;) Love Invents Us is the title of a book by Amy Bloom. Although I liked the book, I liked the title more. The idea that love creates something that wasn't there before; it invents us somehow. Did you see Hedwig & the Angry Inch? The Adam and Eve-esque creation scene in that movie has the same feel. I just like the idea of that.

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I wish I could be zealously cleaning instead of editing right now. You have inspired me to block out time tomorrow. There is nothing quite like the feeling of gleaming baseboards! Good luck today!!

I think cleaning is therapeutic for me. The cleaning JAG can hit me at anytime,but usually late late at night or very early in the morning. I start on one thing and it just leads to the whole bathroom and kitchen and on. For some reason the smell of pine sol just makes it all seem germ free and in order.lol

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