Friday, January 13, 2012

The Terrible Twos

No, not Yogi.
I'm talking about this blog.  It's 2 years and 5 months old.  Can you believe it?!!

When I started writing in August of 2009, I needed an outlet.  I needed a place to talk about TTC - what it felt like, how scary and expensive and disappointing it could be.  Those weren't things that I wanted to talk about out loud, but I did want to talk about them.  I needed to talk about them.

What I found when I started writing was that there was a community of us!  Brave, honest, smart and thoughtful women (and some men ;) )creating families and sharing their stories with each other.  Instead of laughing or crying or eating too many cookies all by myself, I got to do it with all of you and that continues to be a blessing.

In case I haven't said it out loud, "Thank you!". 

Thank you for cheering us on and sharing in our excitement and crossing your fingers and telling me my baby is cute and offering suggestions when I've needed them and well, for reading.  And thanks for sharing your stories as well; in the comments and by email and in your own blogs.  It feels good to be part of a tribe and this is a mighty fine one.  

So, why did I mention the Terrible Twos?

Love Invents Us is going through some growing pains.  I'm not preparing to launch into a tantrum, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want to use this space.  

As I mentioned earlier, I initially started this blog for very specific reasons.  I wanted a place to capture all of the waiting and wondering and worrying of TTC and a blog seemed like a good fit.  Then when we got pregnant later that year, I wrote to chronicle the adventure of pregnancy.  Nine months after that we had Yogi and I wrote about his infancy and all the ways our lives were changing and how we fell in love with our boy.  

Now we have a toddler and another one on the way.  I'm no longer a psychology professor, but a Stay-at-Home Mom.  This time next year I will have two children under the age of three.  Life is changing as it always does.

So.... how is Love Invents Us changing?

I don't have the answer to that question just yet, but I'm working on it.  Part of that is wondering about you, the readers.  The other members of this tribe.
  • Why do you read Love Invents Us?  What keeps you reading?
  • What would you like more of (anecdotes, book reviews, pictures, recipes, something else entirely)?
  • Less of?
  • What kind of information/stories/resources do you think lesbian Moms need that they aren't getting?
I would love to know your thoughts on any/all of these questions. 

I know I'm asking a lot of you here, but my birthday is coming up, so you can think of it as an early birthday present. ;) 

Reply in the comments or send an email (loveinventsus@gmail).



Great questions! I really enjoy reading your blog, especially because it's so well written and down to earth. I'd love to read more about you and your wife and what your interests/hobbies are. I don't have children [yet] and at times get discouraged because it seems like all of the lesbian mommy blogs are all about, surprise,surprise, being a lesbian mommy. I get that, of course, but I'd like to know more about the writers aside from children as well.

We love reading your blog! You write clearly and concisely and it's always fun to pop in to see a picture of the ever-adorable Yogi. If there were anything I'd like to read more of on your blog... hmm. I guess, more about Monkey, and how that's going! I don't mean that it has to become a pregnancy or TTC blog all over again but I will say that every time you mention Yogi, I wonder how Monkey is doing too! Other than that- hmmm, I guess detail stuff? Like, if there's a particular recipe you tried and liked, or a new way you found to organize something, or just small things you do in your lives that are shareable on the interwebs. But like I said, I'm not complaining at all- I like the blog the way it is!

OH- ps, in terms of your last question (what do lesbian moms need that they're not getting), I think one big thing is that we all need a sense of community and connectedness. It can be so challenging to find people with "like" families and "like" stories in amongst all the average hetero-ness. But, in general, I think you are helping to address this issue already, simply by blogging and being part of the community! :)

Thanks guys! Feedback is always a good thing!

Lezbe - I am totally with you on the community point. That is just so important and I'm grateful that blogging allows us this point of connection. Very cool!

I'm with you all on community! Also, your writing is down to earth and relatable. I always find myself empathizing or smiling with you rather than coming away feeling "less than" somehow. And! Most importantly, Yogi and RR are so close in age and I love being able to see another family like ours in the same place at the same time. We haven't got that experience in town, so getting it here is wonderful!

Your writing style has always drawn me in, I love the way you write. I think it would be fun to read a bit more about you and your wife as someone previously said, but really I just enjoy reading a well written post!

So, I wrote this reply about 3 times on my iPad this weekend and each time I lost what I was writing before I could post. Google and Apple really just don't like to play in the same sandbox. In any case, it gave me lots of time to think this one through...

I've been asking myself the same purpose questions over the past couple of weeks, but I hadn't thought about putting the question to my readers. Smart move!

As other posters have said, I read blogs to find community that I don't have elsewhere. The blogs that I follow most closely are almost all written by Lesbians who have children and are connected to academia/intellectual pursuits. Many of the Moms I know IRL are not only heterosexual, but they are also completely wrapped up in their children. While I desperately want a family - and I know that I will be totally gaga over my kids - I'm terrified of losing myself in the process and becoming a crazy mom-bot. I value conversations about ideas and experience so I look to bloggers who reinforce the idea that you can be a mother and an intellectual.

I would love more posts about what you are reading, the things you do when you have time away from the kiddo, and what kinds of things have really gotten you thinking. My favorite posts were the Blog Carnival posts because of the conversations formed between the posts themselves. Even when they weren't clearly in dialogue they always read as a dialogue to me. That said, I also love Yogi posts. Hearing about your routines, patterns and experiences helps to normalize what I expect about how our life will change once we have children.

This is so helpful! Thanks guys.

While it's certainly nice to get praise, hearing the detail about what you like really does help, so thanks for that.

If there are things that make you snooze, I would love to hear those things as well, so fear not. Feedback is good. ALL of it!

As others have said, you are a very good writer. That alone helps draw an audience. I love your Yogi updates and philosophical thoughts. I like to read how things have changed for you, and how you feel about your new role and the direction you're going. I think we'd get along well in 'real life.' :)

i don't remember why i started reading your blog. i've never thought of not reading it, but am especially intrigued by your perspective as the non-gestational sahm.

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