Thankful in 2011

There are so many things to be grateful for this year.  Now that the meal has been prepared, eaten and cleaned up, the rest of the family is watching football and I've got some time to reflect.  Here's my Thankful List for 2011.

• Yogi.  I fall more deeply in love with this tiny person every minute.  I have no idea how my heart will bear it, but I trust that it has the stretching capacity that is required.
• My wife.  My beautiful, patient wife who continues to amaze me with how very deeply she sees me. She just gets me in a way that helps me understand myself.  No small gift. 
• Monkey.  What a blessing this little guys already is.  It will be hard to wait until May to meet her, but those are the rules.  ;)
• My family.  The ones I have chosen and the ones that have been around from the beginning.  I have certainly been blessed in the family department.
• This community.  I had no idea when I started writing here more than two years ago that I would find a space like this one.  In 2006 I had been writing about my wedding and in the course of that I met this lady who is the person who told me that I should write a TTC blog.  I had planned to stop writing bc I had been blogging to keep up with people I know and I wasn't interested in sharing the TTC journey with them.  It was literally this one person who led me to all of you.  If she hadn't said "What do you mean, you're going to stop writing?" I'm sure I wouldn't have done it.  So, I am grateful to Deseray and I am grateful to each and every one of you.  Thank you for reading and sharing your own stories and being a part of my world.  It's a better one because of you.
• Crossing the finish line this morning with my son in the jogger ahead of me.  Yogi was likely the only person who crossed the finish line twice.  He went through the first time with his Mommy and then they backtracked to me and I was able to push him through for the second time.  How cool is that?  It was the perfect way to start the day.
• The opportunity I have been given to stay home with Yogi.  Grateful, grateful, grateful.  Sharing this time with him is precious and devoting myself primarily to the care of my family is beyond precious.  

I might have to come back and add some more later, but for now I must go.  Pumpkin pie is being sliced!

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It Begins

My alarm is set for 5am.  Happy Holidays!!!!

We've done baby on the plane and tomorrow morning we will be doing toddler on the plane.  Pray for me.....

Actually, I think we're ready.  As ready as we can be.  The dog is boarded, the bags are packed, I know what I will be contributing to the holiday meal and my wife has rented the car seat.  As far as I can tell, we've done everything we can do.  

We will be making the trip with two checked bags, one carry-on toy bag and the Ergo.  That's it.  No stroller, no high chair, no diaper bag.  Hopefully we can do it.  I'm having a hard time imagining Yogi sitting happily on our laps for two hours,  but I'm believing that it is possible.  He's a trooper, right?

This time tomorrow we will be in the great state of Texas.  Austin here we come! 

Happy It's Almost Thanksgiving!

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Funk Fighter

I love this picture.  My Dad got it during his birthday party back in August. 

The boy loves to make goofy faces.  The best part of a goofy face is that it always cracks him up and the whole thing dissolves in giggles. 

This is one of the very fabulous side benefits of having kids.  It may rain for five days straight and you may be preparing to travel (by plane) when you would much rather just stay at home and you might have plowed through most of a tube of Gingerbread cookie dough without once turning on your oven, but how can you let any of that get to you when you get to hang out with this guy all day?

You can't.  It's just impossible.

But.... of course he does go to bed and the whirlwind playing/diapering/clothing/feeding/cooking/errand-running/dog-wrangling/dish-washing ceases for another day.  And when that happens there's always the chance that the funk can creep in and nobody wants the funk. 

Unfortunately, hanging around with a really cute baby isn't the kind of funk-fighting strategy that you can use forever.  He will of course grow up and then there's also the fact that bolstering my mental health is hardly his responsibility.  So, what to do?  Many of the strategies I've always relied on (pretending nothing is wrong, drinking lots of wine, watching WAY too much television) are just no good.  Although I was pretty successful with telling myself that these things were no big deal in my 20's, they are seeming like a bigger deal now.  I mean, I should be learning and growing, right? and I do need to be a role model.

So.... it's November, it's pitch black at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and the funk is knocking on my front door.  Any tips?  What works (or doesn't work - that's useful too) for you?  And don't tell me that you haven't dealt with the funk.  It is (of course) perfectly fine (and great for you) if you haven't, but just don't tell me about it.  Maybe later, just not now.  ;)

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National Whining Day

It's raining, it's the last weekend we have at home before the whirlwind of holiday travel and Yogi has declared today National Whining Day.

I'm just a ray of sunshine.

Right now he's napping (and yes I AM watching 30 Rock, not even public shaming has motivated me) and I'm hoping that he will magically morph back into himself while he sleeps.  Maybe.....

For now I am wallowing in my first round of winter doldrums.  To chronicle both my lack of genuine productivity and my love for Trader Joe's I have made a collage.  Why?  Because making a collage is the perfect activity to accompany endless episodes of 30 Rock. 

Anyone else obsessed with Trader Joe's?  What are your favorite things?  I don't want to miss anything.

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A Cute, Funny Wall but a Wall All the Same

Remember how November was going to be all about writing?

Yeah. me too.
It even was for the first twelve days.

I was on FIRE and I managed to write a little more than 16,000 words on a story that I really think is worth writing,  I had done all sorts of planning and preparation and getting to know my characters ahead of time and I was ready for go-time.  I also decided to go for a post a day on the blog because, you know, if you're going to do it you might as well just do it, right?

Then there was the long weekend and the family togetherness and the technological snafus and somehow..... I lost my momentum.

I started doing things like cleaning the house and cooking dishes that I've never tried before and watching 30 Rock during nap time.  (Aside - How did I miss this show?  I'm aware enough to know that Tina Fey is a pretty big deal these days, but I had no idea she was that funny.  I kinda wish I hadn't found out.)  Not writing.  That's the point.

Instead of writing I am watching television shows about writers.  I've hit the wall.

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Dr. Wonderful's Chair Take Two

After a small amount of coaxing I talked Yogi into sitting in the chair long enough to snap a picture.  He looks so much bigger than he did when he first sat in this chair during his six month check-up.  Check out the even littler dude here.

So all of this means that we had a 15 Month Well Baby visit this morning and Yogi was so eager to get back to Dr. Wonderful that he knocked on the window.  Hi guys it's Yogi.  Are you ready for me?

When he actually got back to the room he was less enthusiastic, but we made it.  Mommy met us at the office and he got to sit on her lap during the entire exam, so how bad could it have been?  Dr. Wonderful gave him the stamp of healthy baby approval and we were on our way to Whole Foods.  Tonight Monkey has requested beef stew.

Here are the details:

Height: 31" (50th percentile)

Weight: 21 lbs and 7 ozs (15th percentile)

Head Circumference: 18" (15th percentile)

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Library Love

My library love has a long history.  

I can remember the excitement I felt as a child when I found out that my town was building a brand new library even closer to my house.  I counted down the days to it's opening and according to my Mother voiced relief that since the new space looked so big I probably wouldn't run out of books after all. 

Getting a library card is at the top of my moving into a new city to-do list.  In fact, it comes WAY before going to the DMV.
  
Although this has more to do with my own whack-a-doodleness and less to do with libraries, I spent a number of years during my childhood convinced that I had only a finite number of books allotted to me, after which I would be struck blind.  This was a fear that was both persistent and real and I only wish, for the sake of my crazy little kid self, that audiobooks had been around in the 90's.  What a relief that would have been (and maybe still is?)

I was the clueless, nerdy graduate student who went to a HUGE public university and was SHOCKED to find that they closed the library on football game days.  Wha???

In spite of this long, colorful past, the love I had for libraries as a non-parent is NOTHING compared with the library love I have now.   

Enjoying the library with Yogi is my very most favorite thing to do and it only gets better.  

On this cold, rainy morning we were cozy warm inside the downtown library and thanks to the parking garage, we didn't even get wet!  Although we talk about where we're going ahead of time, it is only clear that Yogi knows where we're headed when we pull into the garage and he starts clapping.  Now that he's a big boy, he likes to walk in all by himself and go directly to the desk of his friend (it is always the same woman) who validates our parking ticket.  He does a little flirting and when he's properly embarrassed himself (he always gets shy after a big flirt-fest) I pick him up and we head towards the Children's library.  

Once inside he wants to walk again and unless we're running late, we spend some time playing in the play area which houses tiny tables and puppets and a few toys of the variety pictured above.  Since we almost always go around Story Time, there are always other kids to play with and Yogi loves that.  He likes to bop in and out of small gatherings of kids (usually just watching them and then giving a big grin on the exit) and walk around and around the stacks.  He loves to run his hands along the spines of the books on each and every aisle.

Then it's time for the main attraction - Story Time.  We have been going to Story Time since Yogi was a few months old.  In the early days we never made it through the whole thing (it's 30 minutes), but I felt good about getting him out and hey - it meant I got to go to the library.  Now, we not only make it through the whole thing easily, but he's so familiar with it (or maybe he's just crazy extroverted?) that he's begun mingling before the show starts.  Truly.  This is what he's doing.  We get inside the theater and find a spot and I usually open a book for him bc that's what we used to do before the show started, but lately as soon as I sit down and open up to the first page, he's off.  It's not a frantic, running kind of thing but an ambling, making his way around the room kind of stroll.  Just to check things out I guess.  He pauses in front of each parent/child grouping taking them all in with a rather serious expression and then just before he makes his way to the next group he flashes a huge grin.

I love this new development and it makes me so curious about what is going on his head while he's doing it.  He's interacting with everyone, but not in a physical way.  There's no reaching out and grabbing for a sippy cup or anything like that.  He just stands there taking it all in for quite awhile considering the fact that he's a 1 year old (2 minutes maybe?) and then as if saying "thanks for letting me stare at you and not think it's creepy" he awards the starees with a melt-your-heart smile.  Then it's on to the next folks.  He's like the Story Time welcome wagon.  

I love it.

What's next?

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Fifteen Months

Today my baby is fifteen months. F.I.F.T.E.E.N months.  My oh my.

Every day this kid gets more fun.  More aware, more connected, more himself.  And lots funnier.

Here are some of the highlights of Yogi at 15 months.

• The Lonely Firefly is his very most favorite book.  Unlike any other book, when he gets to the end he wants to read it again.  He also likes to walk around carrying it, which is funny bc it's not small.
• He finally graduated from the sleep sack a few weeks ago.  He of course didn't even seem to notice the shift, but my wife continues to worry that he's cold.  Such is the way of things.
• Stacking and putting one thing inside of another thing is thrilling
• Pretending to sneeze is hilarious.  We have played the "Aaaaaa - Choooooo" game for minutes on end.  This is a long time in toddler-world.
• Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is his favorite song and he prefers it be sung a minimum of three times in a row.
• We bought him size 4 diapers, but when we got them on they looked pretty big.  Thinking his still a 3.
• He loves school and he gets very excited about walking back to his room.
• If we allowed it he would eat nothing but tofu with graham cracker breading, mozzarella cheese and bananas.
• Grandpa (my wife's Dad) is something of an obsession.  I made him a little book with pictures of his family inside and he only wants to look at pages that include Grandpa.  He points and points at his picture and he smiles when we say "Grandpa".
• Every time he gets close to something that he knows he has been told is "not a toy", he looks at us as if asking for confirmation.  When we confirm that it's a "no", he happily moves along to something else.  I so hope this lasts....
• Diaper changes are getting harder and harder.  He DOES NOT want to lie on his back when he could be sitting up or even better, walking around.
• He loves to snuggle.  That's my boy!  :)

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My People

It's an oldie but a goodie.

My two favorite people. After a weekend away I think I love them even more.

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Not Even his Bones

There is something about being a parent that makes you painfully aware of how fleeting it all is.  Probably having to do with the fact of having front row seats to the blink that every stage of development seems to be.  We snap pictures and jot things down and if you're my wife and I you even break down and buy a Flip camera (we kept telling ourselves it was one more thing that we just really didn't need), but none of that really changes anything at all.

Still it goes by way too fast.

My father-in-law was watching Yogi zoom Fro Sheep around the living room in a tiny truck this morning and he said, "Just think, there are probably only a few cells somewhere in his brain that will even still be there in a few years.  Not even his bones will be the same."  I hadn't made it to my second cup of coffee when he came out with that.  And good morning to you too, Grandpa!

The day has moved along, but that observation has hung around, ringing in my ears.  Yogi is napping, my wife is running in the woods somewhere and all I can think is, Not even his bones will be the same.  I haven't decided if I find this radically liberating or soul-crushingly sad or both.  Probably both, but it's still too early to tell.  It's hasn't really settled in yet, I've got some more marinading to do.

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The Mountains Win Again

If it's true that some people are mountain people and some people are beach people, I am very most definitely a mountain person.  When I imagine the perfect lazy vacation it is not summer or sand that comes to mind, but crisp fall air and leaves.

This weekend is one of those great mountain getaway weekends.  The weather is cool and the leaves are flames of yellow and orange and brightest red.  Perfect for all of my favorite things: slow, quiet hikes, lazy morning coffee, and early darkness ripe for cozy fireside conversations.

We woke up slowly (Yogi included) and stayed in pj's until the last possible moment.  The boy spent the afternoon with Grandpa and Muzzie while we drove into one of my very favorite cities.  I am firmly convinced that a hippie mountain town is good for the soul.  At least my soul.  We ate a yummy lunch involving tempheh, hot tea and sweet potato fries and did lots and lots of wandering.  We might not do as much of it as we once did, but a long walk with my wife is still the absolute best.


So, how about you?  Are you a mountain person or a beach person?  Any idea about why?

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Whoa Nelly

The picture you see above is evidence that my son is not a brute.  Note the way he is clearly capable of placing one object on top of another object. 

Somehow during the last few days he has lost that ability.  Suddenly he knows how to do only one thing - throw. 

That is something of an exaggeration.  He doesn't actually throw everything, but he does only move things with great force.  There is no placing or setting or heaven forbid carefully arranging.  There is only tossing and chucking and thrusting and well, throwing. 

And when there is no object movement involved, there is also banging and crashing.

I imagine that the impact of all of this is heightened by the fact that is suddenly cold and dark and I have a cold.  Still.

Good thing he's cute.

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Really Monday? That All You Got?

It's Monday, in the truest sense of the word.  If you are a regular reader, you will not be surprised to find out that I am actually one of those obnoxious people who enjoys a Monday. 

Usually. 
Not today.

Today began at the hour of very early when I woke up to the feeling that my face had been pumped up with a bicycle pump.  This is (almost) not an exaggeration.  Both my wife and Yogi have been sniffling and draining for the last week and just the day before I had been marveling about how I hadn't gotten sick, even going so far as to pat myself on the back for all that spinach smoothie drinking.  Go me!  Outsmarting the common cold.  I'm sure that's what did it too, the arrogance.  Well, however it happened I've got it now.  The headache, the stuffy head, the sore throat. 

In addition to those things, I also have a wildly spirited Yogi (when did he decide that every object must be thrown?), an increasingly demanding dog (anyone in the market for an 8 year old Viszla? Seriously.  I'm not kidding) and an aggressive daily word count goal.  Happily, I also have a fabulous wife and it is for that reason that you are reading this post.  When she got home from work today she shooed me out the door and told me to get writing.  No more Yogi/house tasks for me.  Now, I'm huddled in my favorite coffee shop with some decaf and I'm writing.  That is a Go Me for sure!

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Peas and Thank You

My head is spinning from trying to keep my NaNoWriMo word count up (as of this moment I'm at 9,110 words!) so I'm relying on a prompt for today's post.  The topic?  Meal Time.

What's your families' current favorite meal?

Absolutely anything (and I do mean anything) from this cookbook.  I was entirely ignorant of her blog until a few months ago when a friend sent me the cookbook in the mail and now I'm hooked.  Sarah Matheny is my new BFF and I bet you'll like her too.  She's got everything you're looking for in a food/Mommy blogger.  Smart? Check. Funny? Check. Into healthy, yummy food?  Super check.  Also her little girls are adorable and she takes lots of pictures of them.   

To give you a flavor for what you can find, here is a list of all of the dishes we have made (and loved) from Peas and Thank You so far.

• Chocolate Almond Cherry smoothie
• Baked Oatmeal Squares (perfect for breakfast on the go)
• Pumpkin Cream Pie Oat Bran
• Spicy African Peanut soup
• Panzanella salad
• Skinny Elvis sandwiches (strawberries, cinnamon and almond butter-yum!)
• My Kind of bar (just like Kind bars and WAY cheaper)
• Better than Ever Black Bean burgers
• Thai Veggie burgers
• Pea Daddy's Jambalaya (My people are Cajun and I thought this was great)
• Double Chocolate/Single Chin brownies
• PB&J-filled cupcakes (I haven't made these yet, but yum!!!)

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Toddler Signs

Although the title certainly suggests it, this is not a post about baby sign language.  It is a post about our son's new ability to leave small Yogi was Here signs all over our house.  Now that he is mobile (read: EVERYWHERE) life is getting much more interesting.  And messy.  Much, much more messy.  It is also the case that when one of us can't find something that we need (phone, hairbrush, tube of toothpaste) it is most helpful to ask "What Would Yogi Do?"  Luckily there is usually only one answer to the WWYD question.  That answer?  Cram it in the farm silo.  If he can get it through the opening, it's going in.  Simple as that.

What follows is a list of some of the recent signs that Yogi was Here:

• My Playaway (library rental) of Bossypants nestled safely in the blender (no blade).
• Small plastic sheep (sans fro, he would never part with Fro Sheep) in the Taxes 2010 hanging file.  I noticed this when I was filing a medical receipt and thought "That folder looks really chunky."
• My mouse (it's wireless) discovered (thankfully pre-wash) in the washing machine.
• Yogi's copy of Snuggle Puppy piled (not on top-weird?) in the stack of books by my side of the bed.
• Brightly colored (and terribly painful when stepped on) golf ball sized plastic hazards anywhere and everywhere

You get the idea.  The boy is a blast, but things are definitely getting messy around here!

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NaNoBloPo BlogRoll and Resources

Here is a list of bloggers who will be participating in NaNoBloPo during November.  (If you're joining in and don't see your blog here, please leave a link in the comments.  I would love to add you.)  This means that you can expect to see a post from them each day this month, so click the links and cheer them on!  A little friendly encouragement is a good thing.

Don't Lick the Ferrets

Two Girls Path to Parenthood

Two Hot Mamas

Puffer and the Baby Fishies

Cookin' Up a Baby
Reproducing Genius

J Blog

Lesbian Dad

Zeebah, Zazie & the Zoo
An Offering of Love

I've also gathered a list of prompts for use when you want to write, but you just can't get going.  Thanks to everyone who helped me get this list together!  Even if you're not in the NaNoBloPo marathon, these topics might spark something for use in your own writing.

• Quirky Kids - what's the quirkiest/goofiest thing your kid(s) does?
• Meal Time - what's your families' current favorite meal?
• Toys - any favorites?  suggestions for other parents?
• Traveling - favorite trip with your child? trip you're looking forward to taking one day? tips for traveling with young kids?
• School - what type of school will/does your child attend? how did/will you go about finding it? why did/will you select the type that you did/will?
• Reasons - Why did you decide to become a parent?
• Decisions, Decisions - How did you and your partner decide who was going to carry your child?  What lead you to that decision?
• The Male Influence - Do you feel it's important to provide your child with a male role model in his/her life?  If so, who is the role model and what relationship does he have with your child?
• Hummmm.... - What do you think would be different about parenting if you were in a "traditional" relationship?
• Getting Ready - What did you do to prepare for the arrival of your child?  What do you wish you had done differently?
• Expectations - What were your thoughts on how you would parent before your child arrived?
• The First Day - What do you remember the most about the day your child arrived into your life?
• The Name - How did you choose your child's name? What is the meaning behind it? Does your child's name fit him/her? (You don't have to share it to post on this topic)
• Surprises - What surprised you the most about being a new parent?
• Grandparents - Did having a child change the way you thought or felt about your own parents?
• The Beginning - What was your biggest challenge in the early days of parenting?
• Being You - How do you maintain a personal identity outside of being a mom?
• Older Moms - Did you have a baby at the "advanced maternal age" of 35+? Share your experiences.

Good luck to everyone this month!  I look forward to reading.

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It's Date Night at My House

We have an actual babysitter and everything!  When my wife gets home from work we'll be heading to dinner and then on to a movie.  This will be the third movie we have seen in a theater since Yogi was born.  The first was Black Swan and the second was Bridesmaids.  Yes, we have wide ranging tastes.  Tonight it will be Moneyball.  I can't say that I'm thrilled about this, but it seems to be the best of the options we have and the folks at Rotten Tomatoes loved it.  I'm sure it will be a fun night.

I think about things like date night quite a bit because in spite of my "parent of a young child" sleep deprivation and my general fuddy-duddyness, I know that carving out adult time for me and my wife is important.  But in addition to rest of it, I'm also cheap (I'm quite a catch!) and the going rate for babysitters in our area is $12 an hour.  Some of them even have four hour minimums!  These are not the babysitters we use of course because really, four hours?!!  That's practically 11 o'clock and I like to have been sleeping a few hours by 11 o'clock.  But even without the hour minimum, babysitters are expensive and then you have to actually DO something with the evening which also costs money.  So, alas it's something we don't do a whole lot of.  

I imagine "Mommy and Mama time" will become more necessary and less possible when Monkey comes along.  So, I'm thinking ahead.  Even pre-Yogi my wife and I are pretty happy homebodies, so perhaps we could make the weekly stay-at-home date night work for us.  Kind of like a "stay-cation".  We can call it the "st-ate night".  It's hardly catchy, but you get my drift.  We could even hand off planning responsibilities from week to week and surprise each other.

• Picnics in  the backyard (with the baby monitor)
• Fancy dinner prepared together
• Take-out from a favorite restaurant
• Movie and desert on the couch

Anyone else have ideas?  I'm not that creative, so help me out.  What do you do to make parent time at your house?

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NaBloPoMo and Let's Play Pretend

It is entirely possibly (likely?) that I am losing my mind, but I'm doing NaBloPoMo this month.  Yes, you read that right.  I am doing NaNoWriMo AND NaBloPoMo during the month of November, a month which also features nine days of travel (two separate trips), the arrival of babies for two of my closest friends, and not a babysitting grandparent in sight.  I said I wanted to focus on writing, didn't I?  I'm thinking it's put-up-or-shut-up time.

So, in case you haven't heard of these events, here's a little information:

NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) - encourages bloggers to post new content during each day in November.  The BlogHer site (link embedded above) provides prompts each day to keep you motivated. 

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) - challenges writers to write 50,000 original words in 30 days.  This is a HUGE event with a recently updated website that offers resources like message boards, the occasional emailed pep talk and local in-your-neighborhood groups that organize for events like write-ins.  I did this for the first time last year and it was a fabulous experience.  I can't recommend it enough.

If you need a little more encouragement to jump on the NaBloPoMo train, there are other fun folks who are taking this challenge with me.  You can look forward to a post a day from:

Puffer
Lesbian Dad
Reproducing Genuis

If you're participating and you're not one of the folks I've linked to, please leave your blog in the comments and I'll add you in. The more the merrier!

Perhaps I've been influenced by the magic of the Blog Carnival, but I would be even more excited about this event if we could get together a little sub group of lesbian Mommy bloggers and post on topics that matter to us.  I'm pretty sure I've waited too late on this one, but if anyone is game and wants to get together a list of prompts send me an email (loveinventsus@gmail.com) and we can work on it together.

***You may notice that this post is NOT dated November 2.  What can I say except "Damn the draft folder!".  I could have sworn I hit "publish" last night before doing the dinner dishes, but Blogger is pretty insistent that I didn't.  So, looks like I'm off to a great start!  I've decided that the solution is to just play pretend.  I don't see any November 3 up there, looks like November 2 to me!***

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