April Blog Challenge Day #15

FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE

I'm broadening the scope here and including some of my favorite inspirational words.  Once again, I can't narrow it down to one.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.  Don't open the door to the study and begin reading.  Take down the dulcimer.  Let the beauty we love be what we do.  There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

Rumi

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.

Martha Graham

We do not see things as they are.  We see things as we are.

The Talmud

To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go

Mary Oliver

Read More

April Blog Challenge Days #13 & 14

GOALS

I am big on goal setting.  I think it started with the 80's Pizza Hut Book-It program.  All I had to do was keep track of the books I read, write a little something about each one and not only did I get a shiny star sticker to add to bright purple Book-It badge, but I got a personal pan pizza all to myself.  Brilliance!  Nobody has ever had to feed me pizza to get me to read a book, but if somebody wants to buy me one, I'll eat it. :)

If you are the goal setting type, you should check out this website.  It's called GoalForIt and it allows you to create to-do lists, goal setting charts and chore/behavior charts for kids.  The designs are fairly clean and the site is very easy to use.

The big goals on my list include:

• Feeding my family whole, healthy foods.  I have been migrating away from meat since 1994 when I first gave it up for Lent.  Around the time Yogi was born I realized that the only reason I was still eating beef and chicken and pork was because I don't like to complicate things for other people.  How crazy is that?!  So, now there is only seafood and fish in my life.  As of the new year.  Because I LOVE the taste of anything that swims and you can't hug a fish.  My wife enjoys her grass fed beef and we plan to make local meat a part of Yogi's diet, so I look forward to seeing how all of this unfolds for our family.


• Prioritizing my relationship with my wife.  The babysitter thing has been a challenge for us.  At first it was hard for her and lately it's been hard for me.   In spite of this, we need to make time for each other.  As a couple.  I know how important it is and I know we have to make it work.


• Rewriting my NaNoWriMo novel.  I wrote 50k words during the month of November last year.  On Nov 30, I hit save and closed the file.  This month I opened it up and started the process of creating the next draft.  There's lots of work to be done, not the least of which will be the addition of 30k words to get it up to a typical manuscript length, but I'm doing it.  This baby is going all the way.


• Moving every day.  My running shoes took an extended vacation when Yogi was born.  Thanks to the dog, I kept walking but walking was all I was doing.  About a month ago my BFF ran a 5k and inspired me to get back on the wagon.  I'm following the 5K 101 podcast, running outside with the jogging stroller.  So far, so good.

A PICTURE THAT YOU LOVE

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day#12

Before I get to the challenge I have to break the big news.  Yogi has teeth!!!!  Plural.  They aren't really full blown teeth yet, but they're still great.  What they are are actually two white ridges in the bottom center of his gums.  Hooray!

WHAT YOU BELIEVE

I'm a believer by nature.  I  love to believe; in people, in ideas, in whatever you got.  If you've read The Life of Pi (Yann Martel) and remember this quote:

“I know what you want. You want a story that won’t surprise you. That will confirm what you already know. That won’t make you see higher or further or differently.”

I don't want that at all.  I want the story that surprises.  I want the zoo animals and the ocean and the lifeboat and all of it.  I want to live in a world where something like that is possible.  This is something I have to watch out for.  On every personality measure you can find I am dangerously low in skepticism.  Lucky for me my wife has a black belt in skepticism.  It's one of the things I love about her and it certainly comes in handy.

So, let's see.  I believe:

• In a creative intelligence that sometimes I call God and sometimes I call the Universe


• Everything is connected to everything else


• Love changes forms, but never just ceases to be


• People are inherently good


• Like love, the soul is eternal


• Opening up is always better than closing off


• The space within the question is the most intimate space of all


• Depth is more fun than breadth


• Trusting someone when they show (rather than tell) you who they are is both a heart and a time saver

Read More

April Blog Challenge Days #10 and #11

THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

• Something bad happening to Yogi.  Almost anything bad makes the list, but I have a super scary Top 5.


• Traumatic brain injury.  I had a student that suffered a SERIOUS TBI between her freshman and quite delayed sophomore year in college.  She made it back to campus, but she was not even close to the same person.  If I could make everyone I love wear a helmet all.the.time, I would do it.


• Childhood sexual abuse


• Cancer


• The dentist office.  It's not just the drill, it's the whole building and everyone in it.


• Unexpected calls from the doctor/lab after a routine appointment


• The fact that my wife runs long distances alone


• The possibility that Diet Coke and/or spray butter really might kill me

FAVORITE TV SHOWS

• My So Called Life


• Six Feet Under


• Twin Peaks


• Oprah (Yes I have watched it since I was a kid and I refuse to be shamed)


• The Daily Show/Colbert Report


• Top Chef

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #9

A PICTURE OF YOUR FRIENDS



These are my three closest, bestest friends.  They know me almost as well as I know myself and so far I haven't managed to get rid of any of them.   Thank God/the universe for that.

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #8

TRAVEL



During the summer of 2009 we spent 10 days honeymooning in the Pacific Northwest.  Although our wedding had been nine months before, we waited patiently for summer and the timing was perfect.  I was between summer school sessions and my wife had just taken her final Board exam.  We flew into Seattle and played in the city a few days before making the trek to the Olympic National Park where we spent the bulk of the vacation playing outside and hiking.  Olympic was a great pick as we were able to spend time in so many varied places from the mountains at Hurricane Ridge to the Hoh Rainforest to the lowland forest of Lake Crescent and the coast at La Push.  I loved every second of it.  We had wonderful conversation and yummy seafood and great wine.  We headed back to Seattle for the last leg of the trip.  On our final full day we ran  a half-marathon together.  My wife had been helping me train for months, but it was the first time I had ever raced that distance and it felt great to cross the finish with her beside me.

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #6

A PICTURE OF SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY



I couldn't settle on one thing, so I decided on a collage.  The picture on the bottom left is not me or anyone I know, but it is someone in Half Moon pose.  I LOVE hot yoga and particularly this pose and hope to get back into practice in the future.  Right above that is a picture of my current obsession - Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies.  They are obscenely good and I am including the recipe because I think everyone should have it.  I think the rest is pretty self-explanatory. :)

NGREDIENTS

• 2 cups flour (all-purpose or half whole-wheat/half all-purpose – all whole-wheat is too grainy)


• 1 1/3 cups oats (quick-cooking or rolled)


• 1 tsp baking soda


• 3/4 tsp salt


• 1 tsp cinnamon


• 1/2 tsp nutmeg


• 1/2 tsp ginger


• 1 cup sugar

• 2/3 cup canola or vegetable oil


• 2 tbl honey


• 1 cup mashed pumpkin


• 2 tsp vanilla


• 1 tbl ground flaxseeds

• 1 11.5oz  pkg milk or dark chocolate chips

PREPARATION

1. Mix dry ingredients (flour through sugar)  in a medium bowl.


2. Mix wet ingredients (oil through flax) in a large bowl.


3. Fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients in 3 batches.


4. Fold in chocolate chips


5. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet or parchment paper **Cookies will not spread, so feel free to put them an inch apart**


6. Bake at 350 for 16 minutes

Read More

April Blog Challenge Days 4 & 5

Yesterday Yogi and I spent the bulk of the day without power and huddled together in our basement, so I'm behind.  Happily the sun is shining today and we don't have any storm damage.  Whew.

YOUR PARENTS

My parents met in March of 1975 and married eight months later.  By the time I was born my Dad had decided to make the move from teaching Algebra at a local junior college to managing what was then called Personnel for a large furniture manufacturer.  When he retired a few years ago he was doing the same work and calling it Human Resources.  My Mom spent her entire career as a secretary for the same organization, which moved our family in 1982 to the suburbs of a major city.  I grew up in suburbia.

My parents wanted a handful of kids but had only me.  My Mom has a clotting disorder that requires her to take a medication that is unsafe for pregnant women and given her history of throwing clots right to her lungs even while medicated, the doctor urged my parents to consider adoption.  They decided to take a gamble and get pregnant and she was able to make it through the entire pregnancy in good health, lucky for me.  My parents and I were very much a threesome growing up and that has made our transition into my adulthood challenging.  It has always been just us and although I certainly knew that I was loved, it has been hard for them to see me as separate from them.  This is one of the reasons that I am eager for Yogi to have a sibling(s?).  I would like for him to grow up in a world that is a little less adult than the one I grew up in.

My parents are both a bit shy, but while my Mom can chatter on endlessly once she's warmed up, my Dad is fairly quiet and has to really have something to say before he joins a conversation.  These days they are both retired.  My Mom keeps busy with her small group of friends and Dad is working on his photography skills.  They are head over heels for Yogi.

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #3

FIRST LOVE

I've taken the liberty of adding the word fantasy between the words FIRST and LOVE and here she is:



This is Amy Ray and she is most certainly my first love.  I'm fairly certain I can track the moment I knew I was gay to my (first) watching of this live concert:



I was getting suspicious when I realized that her voice had such a strange effect on me.  Is it normal for a 13 year-old to listen to Romeo and Juliet and Tried to be True alone in her room on repeat play?  Watching that concert cleared it all right up.  The black guitar, the swagger, the tattoo.  I was in and I was in big.  Twenty years later she still tops my celebrity crush list.  She's got it all - that unbelievable voice, the seeming shyness, the understated but clear geek factor, and a great smile.  Also, she's crazy sexy.  At least to me.

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #2

MEANING BEHIND YOUR BLOG NAME

I chose Love Invents Us as the name of this blog for a few reasons.  The first is that I'm a big book person and so I borrowed the title from a book written by Amy Bloom.  The title of that book stuck with me long after the story had faded and years before I started this blog, because I am intrigued by the creative nature of love.  I think that in many ways, love DOES invent us, in ways both literal and figurative.  Love creates something that wasn't there before and the fact of that inspires me.

Have you ever seen Hedwig and the Angry Inch?  Although no one I know enjoyed this movie nearly as much as I did, I think it is ALL about the idea of creative/inventive love.  Here is a clip that says it all.



Happy Saturday!

 

Read More

April Blog Challenge Day #1

INTRODUCING MYSELF

My name is something I haven't disclosed on this blog, but if you were born in the late 70's there were certainly a few of us in your class.  I have one of those kinds of names.  It has the vague ring of cheerleader about it, but I was never the cheer-leading kind.  I turned out to be the writing class/flag girl kind.   I married my beautiful wife three years ago and last August she gave birth to our son Yogi.  I am a social psychologist turned stay-at-home Mom who aims to continue to stay home and write fiction.  It's something of a long shot, but you never know.  My wife FINALLY completed her training (at 33) last August and joined the medical faculty at the university in our city.

FIFTEEN RANDOM FACTS

1. In elementary school I told everyone who asked that I wanted to be a child psychologist.  This is printed in some 5th grade graduation pamphlet that my Mom still has.  By middle school I wanted to be the person who names lipstick and paint colors.  Big dreams.


2. I have a mild (maybe moderate) obsession with Virginia Woolf, both her writing and her life.


3. I am "kicky" by nature.  I get on lunch or breakfast kicks that last months during which I eat the same thing day after day.  I have had a spinach/banana/milk smoothie every morning since December.


4. My wife loves to push mow the lawn and I find this incredibly hot.  I call her my "yard boy".


5. I have serious fear of hospitals and illness/disease.  I cannot fathom how or why people watch medical dramas for fun.  It is truly a joke of the universe that I married a doctor.


6. I LOVE a stripe.


7. When I listen to  audio books read by Indian narrators I crave Indian food even more than usual.  I also think that is the most lovely accent.


8. I'm only 5'7" but if you ask me I'll tell you I'm 5'8".  It just comes out.  I really really wanted to be 5'10".


9. Fall is by far my favorite season.  Fall means leaves changing color and corduroy and weekends in the mountains and back to school.   I love all of it.


10. Big groups of people (really anything over about 5) is usually more than I am able/willing (?)  to easily deal with.  I can get into a pretty good one-on-one with just about anybody, but when the numbers get so big that I can't really focus in on individuals I get overwhelmed and tune out.


11. I have a small collection of signed books by authors I love (Dorothy Allison, Jeanette Winterson, Nikki Giovanni, and Leslie Feinberg) that makes me happy.  High on the "grab in case of fire" list.


12. I love the idea of tea, but I've never gotten into the habit.


13. My collection of Bare Minerals eye shadow borders on the obscene.  Certainly more than one person could possibly need.


14. I had originally hoped for a girl, but now that we have Yogi I'm hoping for another boy.


15. In my next life I hope to come back as a black cat.

THE MOST RECENT FAMILY PICTURE

Read More

Not Even Trying for Coherence

I've got a few things on my mind today but not one of those things relates to any of the others, so this will be random.  Prepare yourself.

• Yogi has recently graduated to 3's and his diapers now feature familiar characters.  Imagine my surprise when I pulled THIS out of the drawer:

Really?  Cookie Monster eats apples and bananas in 2011?  I'm all for healthy eating, but that is going to far.  Do we even call him Cookie Monster now?

• Procrastination blows.  It is remarkable that I have managed to accomplish what I have considering my tendency towards later rather than sooner.  Months ago when I requested 1st year baby book suggestions I fell in love with the suggestion from Lucky Little 13.  It looked perfect, but did I order it?  Nope.  I'll do it later.  Later came this morning when I learned that the publisher is no longer making this book.  Grrrrr.  That's what procrastination gets you.  So, now I'm asking (begging?) for new suggestions.  Anybody know of a good baby memory book?  Yogi needs one. :)

• We are traveling to my wife's parents this afternoon.  Send good travel vibes our way.  Yogi is becoming MUCH more of a handful and I'm thinking this trip will be a doozy.

• I love a challenge and I'm joining in on the April blog challenge I heard about on The Adventures of Jen, Tiff and Chunk.  Here's what's going on.

Day 1- (April 1) Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you’re afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you’re looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you’ve learned
Day 25-Favorite memory
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

If you are a blogger I think you should join in.  I would love to learn these things about everyone.  I might password protect some of the posts, so send me an email if you'd like the password.  Hoping you'll play along!  If you're on the fence about it, this guy says "Wait just a second there missy!  You've got to play!"

Read More

Things Have Been Better

I've been holed up under a rock for the last week.  The day after my happy sun post, we found out that my Dad has cancer.  He is still undergoing tests to refine the staging and diagnosis, but the word now is Stage 4 B Cell Lymphoma.  It's not clear to me how they could get more specific, but he has an appointment with his oncologist next Tuesday to do just that.  Label the disease, discuss the prognosis and walk through the treatment plan.  It's sounding like rounds of chemo but I'm trying to just reserve my own analysis until we get the official word next week.  I'm enough of a worrier without worrying about things that may not even happen.  So, I'm trying to be efficient with my anxiety.  It's a step in the right direction. :)

During this last week I have discovered yet another fabulous thing about being a parent: no time for exaggerated worry and mental preoccupation!  Yes, I am still likely the most crazed cancer phobe you know and yes I STILL talk about my mother's cancer battle of 86-87 when I get anywhere near a therapist, but now I'm responsible for this guy:



I still manage to find some time to obsess, but there just isn't as much of it as there used to be.  Now there's plastic-ware to be washed and walks to go on and diapers to be changed and a Yogi to play and babble with.  It helps.

 

Read More

What a Weekend!

Oh how I love the sun!  The weekend was absolutely beautiful and we soaked up as much sun as we could hold.  After a Saturday stroll with a baby friend who was sporting the coolest little sunhat, we rushed right out to get Yogi one of his own.  Here he is at the park in one of the bucket swings.  He was a little on the small side, but we made it work.

Read More

My Favorite Things at Seven Months

Now that I feel a bit more settled in my new Momma role I have discovered a handful of baby items that I absolutely love.

5. This book.



This is just the sweetest, loveliest book.  Not even the sound of a tooting Yogi (books have a dependably laxative effect on my child) can override the sweetness of this one.  Love it.

4. Sir Prance a Lot

Sir Prance a Lot is this guy's actual name, although we refer to him as Horsey.  Yogi loves this guy and he goes everywhere we go. Sir Prance a Lot's best feature are his crunchy hooves.  Whole minutes of fun.

3. The zzzZip Me Sack from Swaddle Designs.



We got the left most sack as a baby gift and I immediately fell in love and wanted one of my own.  At the time Yogi was still being swaddled and not quite ready, but as soon as the swaddle fighting got serious he graduated to the sleep sack.  He loves it.  It is unbelievably soft and he happily zips in for both naps and bedtime.

2. The Ergo Baby.

I use this every day, frequently multiple times a day.  We had a Bjorn when Yogi was first born and after paying for that I was resistant when my wife started talking about the Ergo Baby.  They are NOT cheap, but ours is worth every penny we spent on it.  We bought the performance carrier and while it is the least cute of all of the options, the fabric is cool and breathable which is a must with our roasty, toasty baby.  The primary reason that I love the Ergo is that it settles the bulk of the weight on your hips, making it MUCH easier to wear for long periods of time.  The Bjorn concentrated all of the weight on your shoulders which wore me out much more quickly.  Using the same carrier, you can wear the baby on your front, back or hip.

1. My hands-down #1 favorite is ......................I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE BabyLegs.  Not only are they super cute and colorful, but they are totally practical.  We got our first few pairs as hand-me-downs from a friend who I initially thought was nuts for giving us adult sized socks for our three-month old.  When I realized that I had little leg warmers and not socks, I was hooked.  They keep the little guy warm and I don't have to take off pants for diaper changes.  After seeing pictures of toddlers wearing them as arm warmers under t-shirts, I'm even considering borrowing them for cool weather running.  They are a bit pricy in my view at $12/pair, but you can find great deals on them online and particularly on Ebay.  Check out their website for more info.  Ok, one final picture.  This (obviously) isn't my kid, but how cute are these things?



So what's on your list?  I would love to know! :)

Read More

That Was Then, This is Now

Having the opportunity to stay home with Yogi is one of the greatest blessings of my life to date.  This does not mean that the transition has been smooth or that every moment is blissful and charged with significance.  As is the way of most things that are worthwhile, a lot of the work of being a stay-at-home Mom is just that, work.  It's bending over the tub scrubbing poop out of ________ again and working to calm both the dog and the baby when Yogi has a meltdown and figuring out how to get out of the house during the optimal non-napping, non-eating window with everything that might be needed for the trip.

It is hard for me to say anything on this topic that even borders on complaint because of how deeply grateful I am that my family is able to make this choice.  However, this is my blog and the differences between my days as a college professor and my days as a Mom/homemaker is something that I have been thinking about quite a bit lately.  For now, a little compare and contrast.

THEN

• I had my own office with a door I could close.


• People had to make appointments with me.


• I interacted with a handful (sometimes it felt like a very small handful) of engaged students.


• I read journal articles and thought and talked about things like organizational change, culture and stereotyping.  Occasionally someone else  was even interested.


• I wore cool shoes, shirts with buttons and belts.  Also mascara.


• I ate lunch exactly when I wanted to.


• I spent the bulk of my working day all.by.myself and when I did have to interact with people they were students who had to do what I said.


• When I drove off campus I could make my own decision about whether to prep lecture/grade papers/review articles when I got home.


• I was totally in charge.


• It was all about ME.

NOW

• I have a lovely, blue-eyed appendage named Yogi.


• I live in sweats.  They aren't even fun colored sweats.  I should work on that....


• I am frequently spotted with drool/spit-up/poop.  See, point #2 is purely pragmatic.


• My major creative outlet is cooking and menu planning.  Who knew I would enjoy that so much?


• I read no less than six books a day.  These books have titles like On the Night You Were Born and Snuggle Puppy.


• I wash more plastic-ware (bottles, pump parts) each week than I did in all of the 32 years prior to Yogi's birth.


• It is all about MY FAMILY.

Life is different now and I knew it would be.  Of course, I had as much idea of what I was getting into as anyone else does, which is to say I didn't really know anything.  Seven months into my new normal I've noticed a few things.  What I'm struck by in the two lists above is that nothing on either list is wholly good or wholly bad.  Everything is both.  The balance for each shifts from day-to-day and even moment to moment, but my life now is similar to my life then in that it has its good moments and it has its bad.  This is an important thing to remind my black and white self.  In fact, I think the primary difference is that the highs are higher and the lows are lower.  That is the way of love, no?  Yes, it's not always easy to dwell in a world that is not so much about me anymore, but the rewards for helping to create a whole new world in this family are pretty great.

Read More